From the “Bad News/Good News” department:
- BAD NEWS: Yes, the North Pole is laying off elves.
- GOOD NEWS: No, it has nothing to do with Green Peace’s creepy Santa Claus video.
Unfortunately for us, the culprit is much closer to home:
(*Image courtesy of the always-brilliant Bob Gorrell)
Two Heads are Better Than One 
If we classify them as “undocumented workers/illegal aliens” won’t they get:
Free healthcare
A driver’s license
Voter registration (to be used as many times as possible)
Union representation
Food Stamps
Etc., etc., etc.
????????
Santa just needs to “re-classify” his employees.
Not really sure where elves COME from, exactly.
Are they naturalized? Indentured servants?
Maybe they could file for political asylum?
As you may have heard, it’s long been rumored that Santa is actually running an illegal sweatshop up there.
**sigh**
The Fat Man couldn’t run from the law forever, I suppose…
Well….with all of the cookies and milk he consumes, his cholesterol HAS to be through the roof. Sebelius probably can’t WAIT until he comes before the “Healthcare Review Board”….
Procedure: DEEEEE-NIIIIIIIIIIED!
I understand they were also his most experienced elves, now he is left with this bunch:
Yep! It’s called eggnog 😀
…’tis the season, Bret…
😉