Suit Yourself

We just discussed the need to solve the problem of lawsuit abuse the other day (In Lawsuits We Trust). Please consider this the most recent, and perhaps best, example of just why such reform is needed.

Read through this first, courtesy of Bill Hanstock at sbnation.com:

Really, this could be a primer on how NOT to file a suit.

From Bill:

“What can we learn about the plaintiff from this document? Well, we know first of all that he owns a typewriter, but not a computer. We can further assume that he had only one piece of paper to work with, given the amount of “corrections” made on the fly.

He also appears to be technically filing for “COPRIGHT INFRINGEMENTU” which may not be the same thing as copyright infringement. Hopefully he didn’t accidentally begin a case about something having to do with police rights.”

Even better, Johnnie N. Perry goes so far as refer to his invention as a “three-point stands”. Here’s Mr. Perry’s invention:

Improper pluralization aside, when I think “three points”, I’m generally looking for..three points.

Call me crazy.

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My advice: if you are thinking of filing a “COPRIGHT INFRINGEMENTU” suit, do yourself a favor —  find a computer, make sure it has SpellCheck, or at the very least hire a 4th grader as your proof reader.

Otherwise, you could end up as one very unhappy “PALINTIFF“.

In Lawsuits We Trust

Stick with me here: there’s good news towards the end of this.

Every year there are thousands upon thousands of lawsuits filed in the United States, with many of them being patently ridiculous. According to facesoflawsuitabuse.org, here are some of the most outrageous ones from 2011 alone:

•A kidnapped couple is sued by a convict who kidnapped them because they did not aid him in evading police.

•A mother is sued by her adult children because she sent cards that did not include gifts and because she allegedly plays favorites.

•A woman files a lawsuit asking for $5 million after she disagrees with a store over an 80 cent refund she was supposed to receive.

•A mother files a lawsuit against an exclusive preschool because of her child’s college prospects.

•A man sued Procter & Gamble over toothpaste left in the tube.

•A woman files a lawsuit because of a movie trailer that does not have enough driving in it. The trailer the movie was for? ‘Drive.’

The entire funny-yet-depressing list can be found here.

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Now the truly troubling aspect of all this is that these companies had to defend themselves in court, usually racking up significant costs. Those costs get put right back into the price of their products, and we all end up paying more. Isn’t that great?

Why is nothing being done about this by our elected leaders? What about some ideas from the folks who always seem to be “fixing” everything, other than things which actually need fixing?

No more calls; we have a winner! An individual state did take a significant step towards curbing this insanity.

From tennessean.com:

“Tennessee Republicans have a message for those filing civil lawsuits: You better make sure your facts are in order or you could be on the hook for up to $10,000 in attorney fees for the other side.

Lawmakers last week approved legislation that would penalize people who file lawsuits that are later dismissed as baseless. They would have to pay up to $10,000 to cover court costs and their opponent’s attorney fees.

“It is a very limited loser-pays bill,” said Rep. Vance Dennis, R-Savannah, the bill’s House sponsor. “It goes to purely frivolous lawsuits, lawsuits that don’t have any merit.”

I read that and got a little verklempt. It is possible to look at a problem and pass legislation that might help fix the problem! God bless those crazy, knuckle-dragging, bible-clinging GOP Tennesseans for bringing some common-sense to the courtrooms of America, or at least Tennessee. For the moment, that makes one significant problem addressed….

………and at least a million to go.

Hey, it’s a start.

Support your local Occupod

Some of the commenters and I were having a conversation about this yesterday.

If the “Cleveland 5” was from the TEA PARTY, do you think today’s news would only be found on a few blogs and the local Cleveland news or, just maybe, some national news agency (like, ALL of them) would be gathered outside the courthouse right now?

But since it concerns the harmless, mostly-peaceful Occupoddos? Nothing to see here, folks….

From today’s newsnet5.com:

CLEVELAND – Dozens of members of Occupy Cleveland showed up at a Cleveland courthouse to support the five people charged in connection with an alleged plot to blow up a northeast Ohio bridge.

The five suspects — 21-year-old Connor Stevens, 24-year-old Joshua Stafford (aka “Skully”), 26-year-old Douglas Wright (aka “Cyco), 20-year-old Brandon Baxter (aka “Skabby”) and 37-year-old Anthony Hayne (aka “Tony” & “Billy”) – pleaded not guilty during their arraignment Monday morning.

The suspects had the charges — conspiracy and attempted use of explosive material to damage physical property affecting interstate commerce — read to them in open court.

In all, about 50 members of the Occupy Cleveland group went into courthouse. After the arrests were made, Occupy Cleveland said the five suspects were associated with the group, but they were “in no way representing or acting on behalf of Occupy Cleveland.”

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So, the Occupy Guys immediately distanced themselves from these 5 morons terrorists, since they didn’t represent the cause, …and then dozens of Cleveland Occupy members show up at the courthouse to show their support …..for the people who don’t represent their beliefs.

Uh-huh.

New slogan for the Occupoddos: “We blame the fact that we’re idiots on the 1%”.

Congratulations! You lost.

This is just confusing.

Courtesy of Yahoo News:

SEARCY, Ark. (AP) — An Arkansas woman who cashed a $1 million lottery ticket may have to give up the winnings to a woman who threw away the ticket after she bought it, according to a judge’s ruling Tuesday.

The judge decided that Sharon Duncan was entitled to the prize money, not Sharon Jones, who claimed the prize money after she took the ticket from a trash can of discarded lottery tickets at a convenience store in Beebe, a city about 40 miles northeast of Little Rock.

Jones’ attorney, James Simpson, said he plans to appeal.

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Simpson noted that Duncan testified she threw away the ticket after the read-out on a ticket scanner said, “Sorry. Not a winner.” The attorney argued that people shouldn’t be allowed to throw items away and then say, “‘ooh, I want to un-abandon it.'”

“We’d have garage-sale law all over the place,” he said. “It became trash when someone threw it away.”

So, one the one hand, Duncan DID throw it away. However, she wouldn’t have done so had the ticket shown up as a winner.

I don’t know. I feel for both of the “Sharons”. Either way, one of these ladies is gonna feel ripped off.

Question: Since this is going to be appealed, does the next judge order the prize money split?