Category Archives: stay-at-home mother

Regarding “Respect”…

All right.  I have come late to this discussion, and hope I may be forgiven if I’ve missed something.  I won’t take time here to defend myself as a stay-at-home mom (who has also been self-employed as a piano teacher, childcare provider, editor, theater director, etc.–though none of those things probably count) for over 20 years.  Not surprisingly, I completely agree with my younger brother about the fantastic mother we had.   She would be quite astonished to find that what she did for 30 years wasn’t considered “work”…

What I’m puzzled about is Hillary Rosen’s defensive statements in response to the backlash she received on her first statement.:

” I said that I thought it was wrong for Mitt Romney to be using his wife as his guide to women’s economic struggles when she ‘had never worked a day in her life.’ …

‘My wife has the occasion, as you know, to campaign on her own and also with me,’ Romney told newspaper editors, ‘and she reports to me regularly that the issue women care about most is the economy.’

So it begs the question, is Ann Romney Mitt’s touchstone for women who are struggling economically or not? Nothing in Ann Romney’s history as we have heard it — hardworking mom she may have been — leads me to believe that Mitt has chosen the right expert to get feedback on this problem he professes to be so concerned about. “

I’m puzzled for at least two reasons:  First of all, whether or not Mr. Romney expressed himself clearly in response to a reporter’s questions, it seems presumptuous for Ms. Rosen to assume that Ann Romney is incapable of speaking to women who are struggling financially and accurately reporting what they are saying.   And what does Mrs. Romney’s employment status have to do with the women she speaks to on the campaign trail?  Does being a stay-at-home mom make her hard of hearing?

Beyond this,  implying  that only women who are in the work force should be spokespeople for those who are “struggling economically” is short-sighted and illogical at best.  Why shouldn’t stay-at-home moms be just as economically aware as women who work? (And what makes Rosen think none of them are struggling?) Does Ms. Rosen imagine that those of us who raise children rather than spending 40 hours away from home each week, are somehow sequestered from the real world? Do full-time mothers not put gas in their own cars? If they do, are they not capable of noticing that prices have gone up? Do we not often pay all the bills, balance the checkbook, and know full well when the prices of natural gas, electricity or city water have risen or fallen? Are wives and mothers oblivious to the rising cost of groceries, clothing, cleaning supplies? Whether we’re “struggling” or relatively comfortable, if women are saying that the economy is a major concern for them, why should this be a reason to criticize Romney or his wife?

If Ms. Rosen wants to address the so-called “gender gap”, by which I assume she means equal pay for equal work, isn’t this much more a white-collar than a blue-collar problem?  And isn’t it therefore disingenuous to imply that Ms. Romney, as a stay-at-home mother, is in some privileged, pampered class who can’t relate to the needs of a struggling, working (executive) woman?

Until Ms. Rosen, Mr. Romney, and politicians in general, are willing to say what they mean, and face issues head on–rather than equivocating with warm fuzzies or diverting arguments into finger-pointing vitriol–they can expect little respect from the general public, but lots of tweets, blogs and other backlash against the inanity of their “phony war.”

If we’re going to spend all this time and energy, wouldn’t it be nice to do so over a substantive topic, for once?  Or is that too much to ask in campaign season?

Oh, that’s MUCH clearer now…

They just can’t help themselves.

Via, National Organization of Women President Terry O’Neill tried to turn Hilary Rosen’s ridiculous inflammatory statement from Wednesday night into a positive by, basically, …..repeating it.

The money quote:

TERRY O’NEILL: What would we be saying if Hillary Clinton had said this: that Ann Romney has never, has not worked for pay outside the home a day in her life? That’s my understanding that’s an accurate statement, and that raises the exact issue that Hilary Rosen was trying to get to, which is do Mr. & Mrs. Romney have the kind of life experience and if not, the imagination, to really understand what most American families are going through right now? I think that that was what Hilary was getting out, and so she left out the words “for pay outside the home.”

Ed Morrissey actually echoes in his post today what I was saying yesterday:

Once again, we get to see the professional Left’s utter disdain for women who chose to stay home with their children rather than work in the workplace. Do they also lack “life experience” and “imagination”? Are their political and economic views also irrelevant? Is a woman’s worth entirely measured by her salary? Is that the official position of NOW? If so, then perhaps they may want to think about an official name change.

My only advice to these folks?

Keep digging, guys. Keep digging….


This one just writes itself.

On CNN last night, a Democrat strategist named Hilary Rosen (of whom I have never heard prior to this) opened a brand new front on the alleged “war on women” by attempting to marginalize Mitt Romney …by maligning his wife, Ann.

Rosen’s quote: she (Ann Romney) has “.…never worked a day in her life”, basically spells out exactly what Democrats think of most stay-at-home mothers, …and (with apologies to Aretha Franklin) it is NOT spelled R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

This is in no way a critique of mothers who both work outside of the house and raise their children; far, far from it. I respect and count as friends many incredible women who do a superb job of doing both. Moreover, some women would LOVE to stay at home with their kids, but have no choice but to work outside the home in order to make ends meet. However, to say that doing only ONE of these vocations equates to you “not working” amounts to libel, regardless to which one you are referring.

This will be discussed ad nauseam for the next few days, I’m sure. It was already all over the news this morning, and Rush is discussing it as I type this. However, I have a personal perspective on this in a couple of ways.

First off, I’m the proud son of a stay-at-home mom. My mother was an incredible wife and partner (just ask my Dad…), she took care of the house finances, carted three kids all over our corner of the globe, volunteered for school and church activities, and managed to keep a scarily-clean house simultaneously… a thousand other sundry tasks. Since we had no extended family within even a day’s drive, there were no options of dropping the children off at grandma’s, ….ever.

If someone had dared to say anything to my mom that could be even tangentially interpreted as “you really don’t work”, they would have been on the receiving end of a hurled steam-iron-to-the-head before they could have completed the sentence. My mother was remarkable (personal bias fully admitted…), but she was performing the identical duties of millions of other women across our country, and at an extraordinarily high level.

I am blessed to have married a wonderful, smart and incredibly capable woman who ALSO is a stay-at-home mom. She quit her job when we decided to start a family. In addition to all of the duties that MY mother handled, my wife also home-schools our two boys. Knowing what her daily schedule is leaves me in awe that I don’t find her hopped-up on drugs on any given day.

I am simply not brave (or dumb) enough to ever posit that she doesn’t “work”.

The Democrats are in full walk-balk mode over this, even though Ms. Rosen hasn’t as yet retracted her statement and, in fact, is doubling down on it. Personally, I couldn’t care less if she ever apologizes or not. What this episode does is illustrate a crucial difference in our country. These women who choose to raise their families full-time are to be admired just as much as anyone else. To too many people and in too many circles, if you believe in being a full-time mother, and if you hold dear the idea of God, country, family….you aren’t looked upon as erudite or as actually living the modern American experience.

To which I say, “Bull-puckies……”.

This has become just another way to Balkanize us, and pit one group of Americans against another.

Our president was touted as a great unifier when he came into office. He has been anything but. And when his party’s minions are out spouting such mindless twaddle, he makes an already divided country even more so.