Everything, …Every. Damn. Thing…, is now Racist

When I read the following headline, I was torn between laughing and crying:

“The University of Utah may change Fight Song after Complaints that lyrics are Racist“

From the article, it’s apparent that the college is indeed considering this:

Professor Joanna Yaffe said she sees not only sexism in the song but also racism — explaining that a line which states that the school’s “coeds are the fairest” could be interpreted as a reference to skin color.

“I don’t think I’m being hyper-PC, I’m just thinking about not really being included in the song,” Yaffe, an adjunct professor of psychiatry, said in an interview with The Salt Lake Tribune.

President David Pershing asserted the college is not taking the students’ recommendations lightly.

“We’re taking it very seriously,” he said.

Really? So a 110-year-old-fight-song is now, suddenly, “Racist”? Good grief, folks: why are we constantly devolving the language to accommodate people who can’t understand what words actually mean? And at a COLLEGE, no less?

—

So then I started to consider: what, at this point, hasn’t been called racist? And I was left with one pretty simple answer: nothing.

Roughly two minutes spent on Google (hey, I’m willing to do the tough research…) garnered the following examples for me among the millions from which I had to choose:

• Soccer is Racist
• TV’s “The Bachelor” is Racist
• Evangelical Christians are Racist, but since Evangelicals are usually lumped in with Conservatives and/or Southerners, that almost went without saying…
• Mountain Dew is Racist
• If your school doesn’t have Air Conditioning, the people responsible are probably Racist
• HP computers are Racist
• Your living-room furniture may be Racist
• Starbucks is Racist
• Pre-school is Racist (who knew??)
• Upscale retail chain Barneys of New York is Racist, although that didn’t stop Jay Z from collaborating with them. Hmmm, does that make Jay Z a Racist-by-extension, as well? Probably not, although I have no idea why…
• Banks are Racist
• Dressing up like Cowboys-&-Indians is Racist (no, I’m not kidding…)
• The SAT high school exam is Racist
• Opposing Obamacare is Racist. This one has been hammered incessantly, with the corollary that anyone opposing Obama is ALSO Racist. Okay, yeah, whatever…
• Even more confusing: opposing Bill Clinton was somehow Racist
• Sneakers can be Racist
• Buying a house can be Racist
• School discipline is Racist, even if it’s completely impartial
• Classic American theater is now Racist
• We’re constantly reminded that a certain professional football team is inherently Racist
• And a certain MLB team is pretty darn Racist, too
• Superheroes (and their fans) are all Racist
• The University of Denver mascot is Racist, …because he’s white.
• Ice Cream can be Racist, …including Ben & Jerry’s!
• Candy can be Racist
• Donuts can be Racist
• and even Earrings have recently been Racist…

Again, this is a tiny, infinitesimal fraction of the choices that were available.

Of particular note is that it’s always one side of the political aisle which is accusing everyone in sight of being Racist. And we’ve discussed WHY they do this too many times to count.

So today, as a Public Service, I’m including a handy little chart which you should probably tape-up next to your computer, and maybe even keep another copy in your wallet.

It won’t prevent you (or in the initial example at the top, your School Fight Song) from being accused of being Racist, but at least next time you’ll be able to expect it: