#Parenting Tips: If your 2-year-old dials 911 FIFTEEN TIMES, …you’re doing it wrong.

Parenting 101 - FAILED

Call me judgmental, but I think there’s a larger problem here:

(via Yahoo! News) – “…Authorities have charged a northern New York woman and her boyfriend because the woman’s 2-year-old daughter used their cellphones to dial 911 a total of 15 times last month.

Village of Lowville Police Officer Matthew Martin says the 23-year-old mother and her 33-year-old boyfriend told him they tried to keep their phones away from the persistent toddler, but the girl kept getting them and dialing 911.

(Officer Martin) charged the couple the next day with obstructing governmental administration…”

As the father of two (now teenage) boys, I gotta ask: fifteen times? Fifteen? Am I the only one who’s trying to figure out how this is even possible??

Now, to me the most probable explanation is that someone else dialed 911, and the mother or the boyfriend simply blamed it on the kid. Fine. Stupid and ridiculous, sure, but at least that makes some sort of sense.

But what about if the child DID do it? This is a toddler, for cryin’ out loud.

Two. Years. Old.

If Mom is incapable of preventing her infant from finding and using her cellphone fifteen times, …where exactly is this woman “hiding” it? In the kid’s crib? Next to her Sippy Cup®, perhaps? Or maybe it was surreptitiously tucked into her onesie (…heyshe’ll never think to look there!!).

Or did this potential Mother-Of-The-Year finalist keep handing the little tyke her phone with a stern warning: “Okay, honey, now remember: you may call for pizza, or to check for movie listings, but that’s all…”

And what does this portend for the future, when the kid isn’t only thirty inches tall? Can’t you just hear the next batch of excuses?

“…Golly, officer, we TRIED to keep her from setting fire to the neighbor’s homes. The little scamp seems to be able to find the matches and the lighter fluid even when they’re NOT in her room, and you know how headstrong kids are these days…”

“…Whaaaat? I apologize, officer. No, I have no idea how she ended up with my car, or how she managed to make it all the way to Albuquerque. She’s only eight, sir. Honestly, I was unaware she even knew HOW to drive a stick-shift…”

I have only two suggestions:

  1. If you live near these folks, I’d consider moving. Now.
  2. And if you EVER hear about this woman teaching a Parenting “How-To” class, …skip it.

9 responses to “#Parenting Tips: If your 2-year-old dials 911 FIFTEEN TIMES, …you’re doing it wrong.

  1. livinrightinpgh

    You need a license to drive a car, and you need a license to catch a FISH….. CLEARLY, SOME should have to take a test before they’re allowed to be parents! And before you go saying “Ahhh c’mon, PGH!”, may I remind you that we do SO MUCH in our society “for the children”, how about we don’t expose their loveable little skulls of mush to MORON parents. Wouldn’t THAT be the best gift we could give them?

  2. Guess they’ve never heard they can lock their phone…? Betting mom keeps the kids quiet by letting them play Angry Birds while the adults sleep off a hangover. This is pathetic. But to the police I’d say–should there have been a fine to pay after, oh, I don’t know…the SECOND time it happened??

    • Yeah, the “fifteen” part keeps nagging at me.

      Fifteen? Heck, if I did ANYthing wrong fifteen times (at that age), I’d have been sitting on my bed long enough to acquire bedsores. And that would have been my best option.

      Incredible. Either the kid is a future M.E.N.S.A. member, or the mother is whatever comes after “idiot”.
      I know which way I’m betting, too…..

  3. Fifteen times? Hmmm, I or my brothers would have had the board of education applied to our backsides after the second time…and we would have learned an important lesson.

    You see, we were spanked for misbehavior as children and it gave us this psychological condition called “Respect For Others.”

  4. good grief Charlie Brown……and this is just one of millions of such cases. If you don’t believe that just go find a good seat in your local mall and people watch like I do. It’s probably more entertaining /depressing that watching TV. This generation has no respect for their parents just like the Bible prophesies would happen in the end days. We are a country led by it’s children.

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