President Obama’s latest speech/presser about the NSA could be summed-up by the following Tweet:
The guy who never asked a single question about how his “signature accomplishment” was coming along is ALL OVER this NSA thing, folks.
— John Hayward (@Doc_0) January 17, 2014
Quite so. It was a rambling, barely coherent collection of blather and nonsense, laced with pinkie-promise assurances of “only when necessary” & “Hey, we’re not interested in YOU“.
Here’s just a snippet:
Lots of meaningless changes amount to no changes at all. The overall thrust seemed to be that he’s going to seriously consider changing the brand of lipstick for their NSA “pig”, and might even accessorize it with some earrings or possibly a broach of some kind.
‘Cause that’s how a real leader does it, doncha know:
(via Fox News) – “…Trying to tamp down concerns over U.S. surveillance powers, President Obama announced Friday he would end the National Security Agency’s ability to store phone data collected from millions of Americans.
The president will also require intelligence agencies to obtain approval from a FISA court – a secret U.S. court that governs surveillance of terrorist and foreign espionage targets – before accessing the records.
While the president did not say the program would end, he did say the information collected would no longer be held by the NSA. He did not offer his own plan for where the phone records should be moved and will instead call on the attorney general and members of the intelligence community to recommend a transfer point by March 28 – which is when the collection program comes up for reauthorization.
As part of his directive, the president also announced tighter restrictions on spying on international leaders…”
Oooohhh, I’m impressed: “tighter restrictions”!!
**Pro-tip: anytime a politician uses nonspecific comparatives such as “tighter” or “better”, you can immediately discount them. Always.
As usual, I was listening to the speech while monitoring Twitter, and have compiled some of the better observations below:
WHERE ARE YOU? http://t.co/9Uxys43eTC
— Wash. Free Beacon (@FreeBeacon) January 17, 2014
#Obama defends spying on citizens like you by listing all the times we spied on Nazis, Communists, British troops. Same thing, right?
— Michael Graham (@IAMMGraham) January 17, 2014
Right out of the gate, Obama tried to justify the NSA’s activities by comparing them to those of Paul Revere.
Yes, seriously.
Really?! Paul Revere? #Obama #NSAspeech
— Rhonda Koenig (@Rhondako) January 17, 2014
The NSA is coming! The NSA is coming!
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) January 17, 2014
Bert Convy played Paul Revere on “Bewitched” #trivia
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) January 17, 2014
Listen my children and you shall hear Of the midnight surveillance by Paul Revere
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 17, 2014
One beep Verizon, two AT&T And I on the opposite line will be
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 17, 2014
Didn’t Paul Revere own slaves and oppose gay marriage?
— John Nolte (@NolteNC) January 17, 2014
If there was one thing that Paul Revere and his contemporaries loved, it was virtual writs of assistance and excessive government power.
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) January 17, 2014
But after that, the president basically just went into a long, droning, drawn-out explanation of why domestic surveillance is so important, that they’ll do their best to keep it secure while not totally violating all of our civil rights in the process.
In other words: You’re welcome.
Shorter Obama: “America has always been spying on you. We spy on you. What can you do about it?”
— Adam Baldwin (@AdamBaldwin) January 17, 2014
Shorter Obama: Police State. Because there are bad men out there. Never mind that man behind the curtain.
— Michelle Ray (@GaltsGirl) January 17, 2014
Pres Obama talkng about “enhanced interrogation” and how as Senator he was critical
— Greta Van Susteren (@gretawire) January 17, 2014
“…we engaged in enhanced interrogation techniques that made my only success as president possible…”
— John Nolte (@NolteNC) January 17, 2014
Cute how you thought he wouldn’t pull Bush into this. #NSASpeech
— Adam (@GPIA7R) January 17, 2014
This is the official death of 2008 Civil Liberties Obama, right?
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) January 17, 2014
Anti-NSA Lefties noticing the verbal sleights of hand, false equivalence, and vacuous content—this is how we feel all the time.
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) January 17, 2014
“…we guarded that private data so securely a pencil-neck sub-contractor HAS ALL OF IT on a thumbdrive…”
— John Nolte (@NolteNC) January 17, 2014
who wants to bet the ending of metadata storage at telcos goes the way of ending Gitmo?
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) January 17, 2014
Breaking: NSA metadata to be stored in an Xbox, requiring tricky up-down-left-right-circle-triangle combo to access
— John Hayward (@Doc_0) January 17, 2014
BREAKING: Metadata storage to move from telcos to Target.
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) January 17, 2014
Shorter Obama #NSA speech: Guy who told Lie of the Year says, “trust me.”
— Razor (@hale_razor) January 17, 2014
If you like your civil liberties, you can keep your civil liberties.
— Razor (@hale_razor) January 17, 2014
I’m old enuf to remember when Obama and his media would’ve described this Obama speech as fascist and un-American.
— John Nolte (@NolteNC) January 17, 2014
The President talking about integrity is like me writing a book on how to have a successful marriage.
— Chuck Woolery (@chuckwoolery) January 17, 2014
Oh good. More transparency. That’s good to hear. #NSA This is where a bold sarcasm font would come in handy.
— Michelle Ray (@GaltsGirl) January 17, 2014
Obama: I assure you that my NSA is not abusing authorities and violating your civil liberties. Period.
— Razor (@hale_razor) January 17, 2014
The passion with which Obama said: “Individual freedom is the wellspring of human progress” was great acting!
— Adam Baldwin (@AdamBaldwin) January 17, 2014
People who don’t understand the difference between surveillance on Americans and foreigners are idiots. It seems Obama is in this group.
— DrewMTips (@DrewMTips) January 17, 2014
Asking the Attorney General to implement this? I’m sure that will be very comforting to @JamesRosenFNC
— johnny dollar (@johnnydollar01) January 17, 2014
Obama: “I have recently been assured that my RIGHT hand has no idea what my LEFT hand is doing…” #Trust #NSA
— justturnright (@justturnright) January 17, 2014
I see no reason to question the security assurances of a President who learns everything by reading two-day-old newspapers.
— John Hayward (@Doc_0) January 17, 2014
Glad that’s settled. RT @davidgregory No evidence that the database of metadata has been abused — Obama
— S.M (@redsteeze) January 17, 2014
Instead of the govt holding the data, the govt will compel someone to hold it and turn it over when demanded. Hey, problem solved!
— johnny dollar (@johnnydollar01) January 17, 2014
Heck, corporations take your data so WHY NOT US too? #NSAspeech #Derp
— KillerBunnyFoofoo (@PolitiBunny) January 17, 2014
So using Obama’s rationale, if the information is available and he really, really wants it, then it’s, like, TOTALLY cool. Because stop asking so many questions, that’s why!!!
C’mon, it’s not as if Barack is gonna start showing Constitutional restraint now, is he?
Obama says NSA will not be used “for the purpose of suppressing or burdening criticism or dissent.” That’s what the IRS is for.
— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) January 17, 2014
BOOM: Rand Paul: “I think what I heard was if you like your privacy, you can keep it.”
— Steven Dennis (@StevenTDennis) January 17, 2014
“Let me be clear: Full speed ahead”
— Allahpundit (@allahpundit) January 17, 2014
Shorter Obama: “You can’t stop the signal, Mal…” #NSA #Firefly
— justturnright (@justturnright) January 17, 2014
Or, in other words:
Obama: This information is vital because we can tell so, so much from it. And don’t worry about us having it, because it’s meaningless junk.
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) January 17, 2014
—
Remember back in 2009 when Obama said “elections have consequences…“?
Yeah, this was pretty much what he meant.
Two Heads are Better Than One 
Yeah, but, but, the NSA agents are “our neighbors and friends.”, so it’s all good.
Oh, of course.
I’d complain to them, but they’re ALREADY reading everything I write, anyway…
Well, beings we are being read, I must tell you what I must tell you, in an encrypted way, so as not to rise the eyebrows of our friends and neighbors… the black dog barks at the red moon, and the blue bird is flying over the rainbow! (pass it on!)
When you feed the pigeons peanuts in the dark, they turn into vampirous bats. Isn’t that the proper response?
Exactly, MrG! Bwahahah! 😉
Well, since I even have trouble with the daily Cryptoquip in the paper, I’m not gonna TRY to decipher THAT……..
😉
Did he add that “this speech will self-destruct in 5 seconds? ”
He should have. It didn’t even take that long.
Oh, and the foreign crowd didn’t like it any better.
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