Obama and the #NSA: “Trust us!! It’s not like we’ve ever lied to you BEFORE…”

NSA - fake logo

President Obama’s latest speech/presser about the NSA could be summed-up by the following Tweet: 

Quite so. It was a rambling, barely coherent collection of blather and nonsense, laced with pinkie-promise assurances of “only when necessary” & “Hey, we’re not interested in YOU“.

Here’s just a snippet:

Lots of meaningless changes amount to no changes at all. The overall thrust seemed to be that he’s going to seriously consider changing the brand of lipstick for their NSA “pig”, and might even accessorize it with some earrings or possibly a broach of some kind.

‘Cause that’s how a real leader does it, doncha know:

(via Fox News) – “…Trying to tamp down concerns over U.S. surveillance powers, President Obama announced Friday he would end the National Security Agency’s ability to store phone data collected from millions of Americans.

The president will also require intelligence agencies to obtain approval from a FISA court – a secret U.S. court that governs surveillance of terrorist and foreign espionage targets – before accessing the records.

While the president did not say the program would end, he did say the information collected would no longer be held by the NSA. He did not offer his own plan for where the phone records should be moved and will instead call on the attorney general and members of the intelligence community to recommend a transfer point by March 28 – which is when the collection program comes up for reauthorization.

As part of his directive, the president also announced tighter restrictions on spying on international leaders…”

Oooohhh, I’m impressed: “tighter restrictions”!!

**Pro-tip: anytime a politician uses nonspecific comparatives such as “tighter” or “better”, you can immediately discount them. Always.


As usual, I was listening to the speech while monitoring Twitter, and have compiled some of the better observations below:

Right out of the gate, Obama tried to justify the NSA’s activities by comparing them to those of Paul Revere.

Yes, seriously.

But after that, the president basically just went into a long, droning, drawn-out explanation of why domestic surveillance is so important, that they’ll do their best to keep it secure while not totally violating all of our civil rights in the process.

In other words: You’re welcome.

So using Obama’s rationale, if the information is available and he really, really wants it, then it’s, like, TOTALLY cool. Because stop asking so many questions, that’s why!!!

C’mon, it’s not as if Barack is gonna start showing Constitutional restraint now, is he?

Or, in other words:

Remember back in 2009 when Obama said “elections have consequences…“?

Yeah, this was pretty much what he meant.

10 responses to “Obama and the #NSA: “Trust us!! It’s not like we’ve ever lied to you BEFORE…”

  1. Yeah, but, but, the NSA agents are “our neighbors and friends.”, so it’s all good.

  2. Did he add that “this speech will self-destruct in 5 seconds? ”
    He should have. It didn’t even take that long.

  3. Pingback: Harry “The Weasel” Reid is shocked, shocked!, to learn of Gov’t Surveillance | Two Heads are Better Than One

  4. Pingback: FLASHBACK: it’s “Wrongheaded” and “Cynical” to mistrust your Government… | Two Heads are Better Than One

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