A brilliant piece of satire that is based in truth, as all good satire MUST be.
By Tom Quiner
Iowa is dying.
The numbers are damning. We’re not replacing ourselves. Our population growth is stagnant. The magic number needed to replace ourselves is 2.1 live births per woman. That’s known as the Total Fertility Rate (TFR).
Iowa’s TFR is only 1.98 according to National Vital Statistics. We’re one of 36 states not replacing ourselves. Our population growth is slower than any other state except West Virginia and North Dakota’s, according to the Iowa Fiscal Partnership.
The only thing saving us from demographic death are immigrants.
In other words, our fair state is experiencing a devastating shortage of the Iowa Fetus. I humbly present a Modest Proposal to save the state you and I love: I propose we add the Iowa Fetus to the Endangered Species List.
You may think this sounds strange. And yet isn’t that what the law is for, to protect species whose numbers…
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