Hey, would YOU like to be my doctor? Thanks to Obamacare, you’ll probably qualify…

Oh, THIS is just great news…

Conservatives across the nation screamed throughout 2009 and into 2010 that Obamacare would, necessarily, create doctor shortages. It has to: it’s not as if you are going to add 30 million more people into the mix and NOT see a shortage of folks to treat them. Of course, we were all told that we were crazy, and that we obviously hated immigrants, and that we wanted poor people to die, etc…

But these same folks who pushed so hard for Obamacare’s passage are now surprised and shocked, SHOCKED!, that we seem to be experiencing (drum roll, please) …a doctor shortage.


So they’ve come up with an even worse solution for the problem they created: they’ll just redefine what a doctor is:

SACRAMENTO, CA— As the state moves to expand healthcare coverage to millions of Californians under President Obama‘s healthcare law, it faces a major obstacle: There aren’t enough doctors to treat a crush of newly insured patients.

Some lawmakers want to fill the gap by “redefining” who can provide healthcare.

They are working on proposals that would allow physician assistants to treat more patients and nurse practitioners to set up independent practices. Pharmacists and optometrists could act as primary care providers, diagnosing and managing some chronic illnesses, such as diabetes and high-blood pressure.

“We’re going to be mandating that every single person in this state have insurance,” said state Sen. Ed Hernandez (D-West Covina), chairman of the Senate Health Committee and leader of the effort to expand professional boundaries. “What good is it if they are going to have a health insurance card but no access to doctors?”

See? Through the magic of Government, voilà, we miraculously have PLENTY of doctors!! All better now; go back to sleep…



Logically, it seems certain that we’ll see a furtherance of this trend, ’cause there are only so many pharmacists, optometrists, and nurse practitioners. Eventually they too will be overwhelmed, since they were already filling a need (it’s why they already had jobs…). Thus, we’ll almost certainly have to expand the definition a few more times down the road. 

So if YOU have always wanted to be a doctor, this could be your Big Chance!! Whether you’re a cosmetologist, meteorologist, or even a cultural apologist, YOU could be a gen-u-ine “doctor”, courtesy of our government. Are you a grocer, a baker, or a candlestick maker? No problem: your medical certificate is waiting for you.

I can see the blurbs in my local ad circular now: “This week get a dozen eggs and an endoscopy – Only $59.99 (*must present coupon)”. Or “Come on in and get a radiator flush WITH your colon flush!”

Instead of Hope-N-Change, we got Bait-N-Switch.

Thanks again, Obama voters…


38 responses to “Hey, would YOU like to be my doctor? Thanks to Obamacare, you’ll probably qualify…

  1. Well, as one who routinely “played doctor” in my younger years, I am willing to be called into service……

    • I’m not going anywhere NEAR that line…


      • Heehee! They may be able to mandate that “any old so-and-so” can be a doctor…but they won’t be able to mandate that we visit them! Think you’ll see a lot more of people visiting the doctor only when necessary (which is really as it should be).

        • You’re right, 247 – many folks will stop going as often, which indeed is a good thing. The problem will be who they actually see when they DO go, though.

          If my auto mechanic comes out to greet me when I need to have my gall bladder removed, however, I’m not gonna be feeling real confident about the whole deal…


  2. Awesome post, you guys, and great graphics! The Godzilla facepalm is great, but the “suppository” was hilarious…I nearly got thrown out of the computer lab! 😉
    On a more serious note, it’s so sad that the government is adding insult to injury by committing another injurious overreach to protect themselves from the backlash of their own stupidity. I wish they’d just “let it be,” in the words of a famous song. 🙂

    • It’s what they do: make a bad law that does the exact opposite of their stated intent, and then compound the problem by make ANOTHER rule which then makes the problem… even worse.

      Every. Time.

      And we keep electing these idiots. Thus the problem, in many ways, is our own fault.

    • BTW: Thanks for the kind words, partner. Glad we were able to elicit a laugh out of this. Lord knows we need a few chuckles, or we’ll all go crazy over the next four years.

      • You’re not kidding! Sad but true…it’s our own fault that this has happened. So many people refuse to remember the wisdom of Ronald Reagan’s first inaugural address: “In this present crisis, government is not the solution to the problem. Government IS the problem.”

        Glad to help with levity. Your posts always mix humor with reasoned defense of conservative principles, and I really enjoy reading behind all three of you. Keep up the good work, guys!

        • Thanks, 247.
          Always felt laughter is a better vehicle for communicating unpleasantness than anything else…

          Appreciate you being here, and I’ll do my best to reciprocate over at your place….

          BTW: stay away from sharp utensils tonight during President Genius’ SOTU speech. With as much invective as he’ll be tossing, you may be tempted to hurt your TV set, or worse.

          Personally, I’m going to watch it DVR’d: that way I can pause it, go outside, scream, and come back to it when I feel calmer…


          • Yes! I have deepest respect for the inventor of DVR. It makes his speeches bearable. And we both know we have to know what the opponent is saying to frame an intelligent and relevant rebuttal. 😉

            DVR Rocks!

  3. Patient: “You look familiar. Didn’t you prepare my 2012 taxes?”
    Doctor: “Oh yeah, that was last week. Now I’m a heart surgeon. So, lets take a look under the hood…”

  4. Everything is happening just as Conservatives predicted and in reality, things may be even worse. I follow many quality docs on twitter and their blogs are showing the frustration in their profession.

    When all the experienced docs (20+ years) pack it in, who will be there to mentor the new docs? Nobody.

    • Right on, Cosmo.

      We will see the best and the brightest going into other professions. We’ll still have “doctors”, but they will no longer be the most qualified.

      Yeah, THAT shouldn’t have an adverse affect on our overall quality of healthcare…

  5. Well, we could use IRS agents as proctologists, since they seem to be VERY adept at being a pain in certain “parts”……

    • You are just determined to go there, aren’t you??

      I’m not. Saying. ANYthing….

      • Well, since you aren’t “taking the bait” today, let’s move on to the stories (uncovered, of course, by the MSM) about the UNIONS who have JUST seemed to figure out what O-care is going to cost them.

        And to all of those groups who got the “Special Exemptions” in exchange for their support: Welcome to the “Healthcare Hell” you helped create.

        • Great Pgh!
          They can get mad…but where are they going to go?

          • Mmmmm hmmmmm….they’re going to go to the same place as the rest of us: waiting in line, and having “services and treatments” EVALUATED by a “Review Board”, aka, “Death Panel”.

            It just amazes me that the folks involved could be duped so easily. Seriously, MANY of these folks aren’t your ordinary, run-of-the-mill, day to day, mindless minions that seem to populate society. Did they REALLY think Obama WASN’T going to include them in with the rest of us at some point?

  6. Great, redefine “doctors”. Don’t you just know at some point they’ll have to redefine ObamaCare when it’s out of favor and inconvenient? And I guess they can rename death panels “life panels” or something.

    It never ends.

    • Heck, just consider: Obamacare’s ACTUAL name is the “Affordable Health Care Act”.

      Of course, that was back when it was going to “bend the cost curve down”. Remember that one?
      But NOW they admit that won’t happen, but that it is still more “fair”, so that makes it okay…

      Trying to pin Libs down on the detrimental effects of their own policies makes nailing jello to the wall look easy…

  7. “What good is it if they are going to have a health insurance card but no access to doctors?”

    Duh. You mean that wasn’t the plan? I’m confused.

    • It’s just for appearances.

      It’s like the old con where a guy would break into a couple of homes, and then sell door locks or security systems.

      You can’t offer solutions if people don’t a have a problem first.

  8. Can you change the Constitution by changing word definitions, and then making them retroactive to the founding of the country?

    It sounds ridiculous, but look where we are now.

    • Yes, Hatfield, that is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous!!
      I also assume that it hasn’t been tried previously only because someone hadn’t thought of it….yet.

      Hopefully no government spooks are monitoring this blog, or it’ll find its way into tonight SOTU address…

    • For instance, “Pursuit of Happiness” will now be redefined as “Paying your fair share”. Obama will assure us that was what Jefferson REALLY meant all along.

      This can’t end well.

  9. “… This just in, the newly formed, by presidential executive order, “Ministry of Definitions and Statistics” announces that all founding documents need to be examined for “unrealized intent” that the framers could have conveyed but were unaware….

    ….also, unemployment has moved from 7.9% to 0%….more at 6:00…”

  10. JTR, I really liked this one. It is so depressing where our government is taking us, and so many people are blind to it. The really sad thing is, there’s nowhere to run.

    Throughout history, people have come to America to have Freedom and Liberty. I pray our nation regains its sight.

  11. Pingback: Obama sharpens his Marxist message for 2013 State of the Union speech | Two Heads are Better Than One


  13. Well, yeah…seems to me the folks I’ve been seeing for a while now are nurse practitioners etc. a good part of the time under the tender mercies of insurers’ HMO’s. Nothing new here, move on…

    And the doctors aren’t doctors anymore, either if you still consider a doctor a practicing professional. Mine doesn’t make decisions; he looks up what he’s allowed to do to me under insurance of government guidelines.

    Health care ‘professionals’ are already merely mid-level techies serving bureaucrats… Galen and Hippocrates are even deader than we think!
    (Just like Medicare Advantage)

  14. Ridiculous, amazing, and predictable. Great post!

  15. Pingback: Just in case you forgot: “If you oppose #Obamacare, you’re a big, fat, smelly Racist…” | Two Heads are Better Than One

  16. Pingback: Will #Obamacare FORCE Doctors to see Patients they don’t want, for Wages they don’t like? | Two Heads are Better Than One

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