Suit Yourself

We just discussed the need to solve the problem of lawsuit abuse the other day (In Lawsuits We Trust). Please consider this the most recent, and perhaps best, example of just why such reform is needed.

Read through this first, courtesy of Bill Hanstock at

Really, this could be a primer on how NOT to file a suit.

From Bill:

“What can we learn about the plaintiff from this document? Well, we know first of all that he owns a typewriter, but not a computer. We can further assume that he had only one piece of paper to work with, given the amount of “corrections” made on the fly.

He also appears to be technically filing for “COPRIGHT INFRINGEMENTU” which may not be the same thing as copyright infringement. Hopefully he didn’t accidentally begin a case about something having to do with police rights.”

Even better, Johnnie N. Perry goes so far as refer to his invention as a “three-point stands”. Here’s Mr. Perry’s invention:

Improper pluralization aside, when I think “three points”, I’m generally looking for..three points.

Call me crazy.


My advice: if you are thinking of filing a “COPRIGHT INFRINGEMENTU” suit, do yourself a favor —  find a computer, make sure it has SpellCheck, or at the very least hire a 4th grader as your proof reader.

Otherwise, you could end up as one very unhappy “PALINTIFF“.

17 responses to “Suit Yourself

  1. hatfield McCoy

    Five million million?

  2. livinrightinpgh

    I recently filed suit against a ham sandwich, and when the judgement was awarded in my favor, I got to eat one slice of the bread (marbled rye), while my attorney got the other piece of bread, the meat, a great slice of Amish swiss cheese, and the brown mustard.

    I suspect the SAME attorney represents your plaintiff….

    Tort reform? We don’t need no stinking TORT reform!

  3. Someone needs to hand him a sign.

  4. Mr. Perry’s attorney:

    Funny, no mention of corn in the filing, though.

    • justturnright

      Whoa! Wasn’t prepared for THAT this early……

      Hey, Buckeye: Mr. Perry had no more business filing that lawsuit (that someone will need to pay to defend), than I do trying out for the NFL.

      “A man has to know his limitations”.

  5. Reblogged this on That Mr. G Guy's Blog and commented:
    Stupid is as stupid does.

  6. Flippity Flappity Floop!

  7. Pingback: The New American Dream: Lawsuits « Two Heads are Better Than One

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